To Pass The Time 'Til You Return

This took me nearly 2 weeks to finish. I am amazed I stuck with it so long, usually when work intervenes I totally completely ignore personal work. I haven't done a lot of self portraits recently...and well, because quite frankly I haven't had to. Self portraits have always been some pretty strong therapy for me...though, this is a pretty poor representation of that. The melt-face is a precursor to something ridiculous and gigantic that will soon be revealed (though, I can't imagine that anyone will care to any equivalent as to how excited I am).

This blog has gone to shit. I barely post in it anymore, and when I do I rarely show work, and barely ever post anything other than finished illustrations. I keep getting emails about my process, and I want to say "just go look at my blog" but in reality there has been really no mention of process for months. I also keep getting emails wondering if I do all my work in vector....and christ, I wouldn't even know how to do anything in vectors if my life depended on it. I barely know how to use photoshop, and what I do know how to do is apparently "ass-backwards". I use photoshop like I used to watercolor, if that makes any sense. And for those wondering if the above image is vector, IT IS NOT. Brush, ink, graphite, photoshop. I have been doing textures with pencil over my inks recently which seems to work out pretty well, though it makes the original work on the paper look like total shit. I keep worrying that some day someone is going to catch on to the fact that I only use like 3 wallpaper patterns ever.

My life has been in shambles recently, though not really in a terrible awful negative way. I just cant seem to keep up with anything. Phone calls have not been returned, bills unpaid, friends ignored, I still haven't put the shit up on ebay that I have been meaning to get to for weeks, invoices have not been checked up on (pay me, please?), I keep forgetting to shave...and well, sleep and eat. I think the true identifier that I have lost control of my organization is that I received a taxidermied finch a few weeks back, and still have yet to put it anywhere other than in the box that it came in. I keep getting emails and text message from people asking me if I am alright. I guess the only positive out of this is that I am on the edge of some extremely exciting jobs. I finally feel like maybe I am starting to get the work I have always wanted.

And a follow up on my last post; yes, I am a total complete fucking idiot in every sense of the word.