DIEALONE

- the last time i posted here was mid April. it's now the first week of June, and i don't really have all that much to say. well no, i take that back...i have a book of things to say, this is just not the place to say them.

At the end of April, after a heartbreaking three years Rachel and i decided to separate (or rather, i was dumped and eventually came around to realizing it was for the best). After a tedious month of living together as an "un-couple", i spent that time trying to just work everything out. I learned how to be alive from Rachel, and without her i was afraid i was going to lose everything that i had been working on for so long. So, i spent that month selling off the majority of our furniture, our car, my scooter, old artwork, an old computer, packed up my life and moved back to Chicago with the help of the unbreakable Luby Kelley.

Things have been good though. My apartment is ridiculous, and Mingus is one happy cat. The complexities of taxidermy vs. mid-century furniture works well here. I've been reconnecting with old friends, and making up for lost time. I forgot how nice it was to live alone, and live by my own hours in a city that seems to work 24 hours a day. I've stayed up until the morning almost every night, listening to records and drawing....nice isn't even the word for it. and i had totally forgotten what a pleasure it was to just sit on your couch and read a book. things are good. i am happier than i have ever been.

I had a dream last night that i asked an old friend to marry me, she said she couldn't because she was dying of cancer. this may be a result of too little sleep, or too much RC cola before bed...or quite frankly too much LOST. But either way i woke up terrified....i havent had a dream like that in years.