The Day The Elk Stood Still
This morning after waking up hung-over and watching a two-hour block of The Family Feud while laying in bed with a hooded sweatshirt cinched tight around my head, I received a knock on my door. A lovely gentleman from UPS Freight had delivered a "package" to me, and he informed me that it was sitting out on the sidewalk waiting for me.
- Upon realizing that there was no way for me to get this "package" through my front gate even I called upon the help of fellow c-founder of The Logan Square League of The Unemployed, Rachel 'Lil' Mac' Adams.
- I was very pleased when we unveiled that the box was not in fact a wooden crate. None the less, it was made out of some serious ass cardboard.
- The contents of the box were very mysteriously packaged.
- And even more mysteriously shaped.
- The contents of the box were surprisingly light, but obviously a bit awkward to carry around.
- I don't know why I uploaded this picture.
- Here, Rachel 'Lil' Mac' Adams questions her roll as a member of The Logan Square League of The Unemployed.
- There was only one place in my entire apartment that the Elk would fit, other than above my bed (sorry Luby, it wasn't going to happen). The thing basically dwarfs everything else in my apartment.
- A size comparison shot here, mind you I am about 6'3". I believe that I was at this point impersonating the Elk, though I can't be positive. I think for the most part I am going to hold off on taxidermy for at least half a year...this has gotten a little out of control.
So take that naked girl across the courtyard! I have spent the last month being distracted by you, and now I am going to leave my lights on all night so this mother fucker can stare you down!
In other news if any of you happen to at some point find yourself on my team in a friendly game of The Family Feud, expect me to be highly fucking irritated with you when you respond to "Name a flightless bird" with "Flamingo". And yes, while 12 people agreed with you...you're still a fucking idiot.
- Upon realizing that there was no way for me to get this "package" through my front gate even I called upon the help of fellow c-founder of The Logan Square League of The Unemployed, Rachel 'Lil' Mac' Adams.
- I was very pleased when we unveiled that the box was not in fact a wooden crate. None the less, it was made out of some serious ass cardboard.
- The contents of the box were very mysteriously packaged.
- And even more mysteriously shaped.
- The contents of the box were surprisingly light, but obviously a bit awkward to carry around.
- I don't know why I uploaded this picture.
- Here, Rachel 'Lil' Mac' Adams questions her roll as a member of The Logan Square League of The Unemployed.
- There was only one place in my entire apartment that the Elk would fit, other than above my bed (sorry Luby, it wasn't going to happen). The thing basically dwarfs everything else in my apartment.
- A size comparison shot here, mind you I am about 6'3". I believe that I was at this point impersonating the Elk, though I can't be positive. I think for the most part I am going to hold off on taxidermy for at least half a year...this has gotten a little out of control.So take that naked girl across the courtyard! I have spent the last month being distracted by you, and now I am going to leave my lights on all night so this mother fucker can stare you down!
In other news if any of you happen to at some point find yourself on my team in a friendly game of The Family Feud, expect me to be highly fucking irritated with you when you respond to "Name a flightless bird" with "Flamingo". And yes, while 12 people agreed with you...you're still a fucking idiot.
posted by matthew at 3:22 PM
3 Comments:
One time on Family Feud, the category was "Facts about John Lennon" and the woman answered, "Not dead."
If I were single I would have a house just like yours. And preferably with a blond girl, too.
-bri
i think the 'dont know why i uploaded this' picture is important.
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