At Night I Lay At Home With My Sheets Soaking Wet

Okay, I will be the first to admit it: I am a jerk. I haven't posted in this thing for nearly a month at this point, but at least it's for good reason....I just haven't really had anything to post. Nothing and everything has changed all at once. Spent some time in the nega-zone known as Indiana, spent hours and hours drawing wallpaper for the still secret project, fell in love a million times, had terrible allergies, rearranged my studio, had the past break my heart, realized that I have had the shit kicked out of me for so long that even the death of a family member barely affects me, carried a ziploc full of moss across state lines, was blown away by The Mist, seriously inflamed my arthritis with rock band, etcetera, etcetera.

Here is a pretty simple job I did for ESPN Magazine a few weeks ago, that came out really nice. It was the first time in a long time that I felt like I actually accomplished something through my inks:


Once again it is time for an Art-Dept promotion book. This season the theme was Reel, which meant that each artist was to pick a movie to create a movie poster for. I spent a lot of time thinking about what movie I would want to make a poster for, from The Sixth Sense, To Pee Wee's Big Adventure, 12 Monkeys, and Children of Men. I ended up on In The Mood For Love, which I have based worked off of before, but never so bluntly. It is in every aspect my favorite movie I have ever seen, and I would even go so far to say that 90% of the work I do anymore is somehow directly inspired by the movie.

I have been becoming increasingly disinterested in my colors anymore. It seems like I have been using the same crutches for a couple of years now, and quite frankly it just isn't fun anymore. I figured this project would be a good time to experiment with some different palettes and different techniques, and I think they came off pretty well. I broke the image up into two pieces to put on my website, the actual "poster" is both of these images stacked on top of each other:

I think I could spend the rest of my life only listening to Bruce Springsteen covers.

My Obsession With Victorian Ornamentation

I am currently in the midsts of a very exciting project. Unfortunately, I don't know how freely I am able to talk about the project...but hell, when am I ever? The project will be taking me a good chunk of the summer, which is a definite plus considering my quickly growing stress about the "slow season". And to be totally honest, I can't think of more of a dream job for me. Basically I get to spend all day drawing ridiculously detailed furniture, clothing, wallpaper, hairstyles, etc....it's like I was meant for the job. Not to mention the fact that I get to draw silly mustaches! Here are some rough line work drawings of what I am working on. Chances are, I don't have to be putting as much detail into everything that I am...but I can't really hold back at this point:


The show on Friday was....well, it was good. But odd, and confusing, and depressing, and amazing, and terrifying. I met a lot of nice people, and a few REALLY nice people (one in particular). A lot of nice things were said about my work, and I ended up getting entirely too intoxicated for my own good by the end of it. Though, none of this has changed my ideas about having work in galleries....it still seems like a whole lot of bullshit and competitiveness, neither of which I am too fond of when it comes to just doing my work.

Tonight a few of us are going to see John Twells play. Normally I would be all for this...but considering that it's at a douche bag bar, on fucking St. Patrick's day....I can't really say I am looking forward to it. Lord have mercy on us.

Sometimes I wonder when I write things like "Lord have mercy on us", do people on here actually take me seriously? It was brought to my attention a long time ago, that people take a lot of ridiculous things I say on here seriously.

It looks like in the near future I will be having a steady stream of work to post on this blog. Imagine that.

Into The Mouth Of The Wolf

For those of you in Chicago, I found what time the reception for the "Into The Mouth Of The Wolf" show that I am in at Lloyd Dobler Gallery starts. And for those of you too lazy to scroll down a bit here is all the information again:

Lloyd Dobler Gallery
1545 W. Division 2nd Floor
Chicago, IL 60622
312.961.8706

"Into The Mouth Of The Wolf"
March 14th - April 26th

Opening Reception
March 14th, 6pm - 10pm

Here are some inks I just finished for a spot illustration for Nextbook, on an piece written by Joe Hill (son of Steven King). I have developed a love / hate relationship with drawing typewriters, though I am a little obsessed with how the back of old typewriters look like awesome robot heads. Also, apparently I have lost the ability to draw birds well.


After a good deal of email correspondence with the amazingly talented and beautiful Audrey Kawaski, I have decided to try my hand at oil painting again. There is just so much stuff I want to do that I know I can't accomplish through inks and photoshop, and just quite frankly don't have the skill to do in water color. And on a side note, Audrey kind of makes me want to be strangled in my sleep.

I have four deadlines due on Monday, and then a small handful more scattered throughout the rest of the week. Not to mention that I have to prepare my piece for the show at Lloyd, and somehow figure out how to use a jigsaw in my apartment without cutting my furniture in half. Somebody slap me if I complain about not having enough work any time soon.

The Widow of The Man Who Never Loved You

So, after nearly two months I finally finished the big secret project. And in all honesty, I really couldn't be more pleased with it. It is so rare when the image I have initially in my head actually looks like the final product. I have been staring at this thing for weeks, occasionally adding minuscule touches here and there, but I would say I have probably put almost 100 hours into finishing this. There were even a few points where I would wake up in the middle of the night to work on it ( I was convinced it was haunting me for a while ). How in god's name did this take 100 hours you ask? Well, because it is on a 4' X 4' hunk of wood. It is fucking huge. Not the biggest thing I have done, but certainly the most detailed and time consuming. I was getting so tired of laying half of my drawing abilities to the side to do client work, that when the opportunity came for me to work on this, I put everything I had into it. Coffee washes, tea washes, graphite, colored pencil, and brush and ink. Make sure you click on the images to get a full-sized, because this thing is ridiculously detailed. I have a habit of not slacking on the detail, no matter how big the piece is. And yeah, I used the exact same sized brush for this that I used on everything else.

I was asked to do a piece by the ole' Lloyd Dobler Gallery gang for an upcoming show entitled "Into The Mouth of The Wolf", which is a collective of horror art. Now, when someone asks me to do a piece for a horror show...I hesitate. People are talking all the time about how I make horrific and macabre work, but in reality I never agree. I like to make work that is uncomfortable to look at, but not exactly "scary". So I decided to go a different route with this, and actually make something that I thought was scary....and hell, it worked. I have been having problems looking at this straight on since I started it. This is also the only piece I have ever done exclusively for a gallery show, and chances are it will probably be my last.

Into The Mouth of The Wolf is next Friday, March 14th at the Lloyd Dobler Gallery:

1545 W. Division 2nd Floor
Chicago, IL 60622

and features the work of some fantastic artists including some of my old friends; Helena Kvarnstrom, Brendan Larsen, and John Twells (aka Xela). Three of the only artists out there who's work actually scares the hell out of me sometimes. If you are in Chicago you should absolutely stop by, chances are you will find me somewhat intoxicated on Schlitz and doing my best not to make eye contact with my own work ( let alone anyone that happens to show up ). Oh and if you cant make it during the reception, the work will be up for at least a few weeks...though I am not positive how long.

Also, I am considering selling this piece when the show is over. I don't exactly know who would want a 4' square hunk of wood with a melting woman on it, but if you are interested (and seriously so) please feel free to contact me.

To Pass The Time 'Til You Return

This took me nearly 2 weeks to finish. I am amazed I stuck with it so long, usually when work intervenes I totally completely ignore personal work. I haven't done a lot of self portraits recently...and well, because quite frankly I haven't had to. Self portraits have always been some pretty strong therapy for me...though, this is a pretty poor representation of that. The melt-face is a precursor to something ridiculous and gigantic that will soon be revealed (though, I can't imagine that anyone will care to any equivalent as to how excited I am).

This blog has gone to shit. I barely post in it anymore, and when I do I rarely show work, and barely ever post anything other than finished illustrations. I keep getting emails about my process, and I want to say "just go look at my blog" but in reality there has been really no mention of process for months. I also keep getting emails wondering if I do all my work in vector....and christ, I wouldn't even know how to do anything in vectors if my life depended on it. I barely know how to use photoshop, and what I do know how to do is apparently "ass-backwards". I use photoshop like I used to watercolor, if that makes any sense. And for those wondering if the above image is vector, IT IS NOT. Brush, ink, graphite, photoshop. I have been doing textures with pencil over my inks recently which seems to work out pretty well, though it makes the original work on the paper look like total shit. I keep worrying that some day someone is going to catch on to the fact that I only use like 3 wallpaper patterns ever.

My life has been in shambles recently, though not really in a terrible awful negative way. I just cant seem to keep up with anything. Phone calls have not been returned, bills unpaid, friends ignored, I still haven't put the shit up on ebay that I have been meaning to get to for weeks, invoices have not been checked up on (pay me, please?), I keep forgetting to shave...and well, sleep and eat. I think the true identifier that I have lost control of my organization is that I received a taxidermied finch a few weeks back, and still have yet to put it anywhere other than in the box that it came in. I keep getting emails and text message from people asking me if I am alright. I guess the only positive out of this is that I am on the edge of some extremely exciting jobs. I finally feel like maybe I am starting to get the work I have always wanted.

And a follow up on my last post; yes, I am a total complete fucking idiot in every sense of the word.

A Girl Named Salvation

My section over at Thumbtack Prints has been updated with a good handful of new/old pieces. I believe I went from 4 prints to 16, which is a pretty nice change. Not to mention the fact that looking at them now, I am pretty pleased with the selection. Hopefully there is something in there for everyone....there were a lot of people that wanted things that I just couldn't print, due to ownership rights and such.

Due to my new-found Mac technical savvy and a good handful of chance, I was given about 30 gigs of music last night. A good chunk of which I have never heard of....and considering my oh so modest musical knowledge, I am pretty impressed. There is something to be said for someone who includes Vietnamese covers of Johnny Cash songs in their music collection. As well as a Bill Callahan album I have never even heard of. Life just got a little better.

I have been having an increasing number of nightmares recently. The most recent addition being a dream in which I was locked in a bar while my ex-girlfriend ridiculed me, and then attempted to "win me back". The worst dreams I have had in the last 9 months are when my ex tries to win me back, immediately elevating these dreams to nightmare standards. Fuck, maybe I have just been thinking about Sartre too much recently.

In other news of unfortunate slumber: I do not own curtains. This has become irritating to a good handful of people...but for some reason I like it. I don't even have curtains in my bedroom which leads to two major problems; a) people can see whatever is happening in my bedroom from the building across from mine. And b) as soon as the sun comes up my bedroom is super super bright. The other day, I nailed a very heavy wool sheet up in my bedroom window. It is now pitch black in my room 24 hours a day. This in combination with the remarkable silence of my house (considering my upstairs neighbors have slipped into drug induced comas), my bedroom is now a tomb. I quickly coined the phrase "Lazarus Chamber" to describe my bedroom...but I feel that that is an inaccurate name, for if my bedroom does anything...it sucks energy out of you. ( I spent a good 10 minutes looking for a decent link for "Lazarus Chamber" but have come up empty handed. If you do in fact get this reference, I owe you a cookie. Though in my searches I did run across this amazing image. I hope Becky is laughing somewhere because of this)

I have realized over the last few days that I am incapable of making a mix cd if it isn't about being pathetically lonely or breaking up with someone / being broken up with. I am beginning to find this extremely irritating.

Did I meet a girl? I think I might have...but maybe not. Who knows anymore? I hope I did, but I probably didn't. Though I must say I haven't even considered thinking "have I met a girl?" in an incredibly long time. I am over-analyzing this. I am freaking out. I can not pronounce French words. I am an idiot.

I Know Nobody Can Do Me No Harm

Before my love of ghosts, before my love of birds, before deer, before tattooed women, and yes even before my love of the physical embodiment of death...I had a love, that started it all. It made me fall in love with zombies, camp outings, boat houses, taxidermy, sound effects, grainy images, people with bags over their heads, girl's in their underwear, jeeps, and underwater scenes. Friday The 13th has single handedly ruled my concepts of aesthetic beauty for as long as I can remember.

Now, I would say...I probably think about Friday The 13th everyday. But for the most part my fascination and obsession grows too strong to bear, and about once a year I will watch all 8 in a row (yes, that's right...8. the others don't count, and everyone knows it) much to the chagrin of whoever I am dating/living with at the time. I sit in utter silence, watching every movement, listening to every sound....if I were to have a religion, it would be Friday The 13th. Though, oddly enough...it's not Jason Voorhees that I am obsessed with (though I do have a soft spot for mutant freak-boy Jason, as well as any shot of Jason without the mask/bag on), it's everything else in the movies.

Now over the years I have attempted to make lots of art about Friday The 13th, even braving through a short comic when I was 10. The truth of the matter it, it is impossible for me to put what I love about the movies down on paper. The closest I ever came was about a year and a half ago...I was decently pleased with it. My girlfriend at the time however, was not. Funny when I think back on it, and realize that the girl was jealous of me drawing girls in their underwear...or hell, maybe she was jealous that I would always love Friday The 13th more than her:


Now, like I said...this was "close" to what I thought was a good adaptation of my love for these movies. But there was something still off about it. So well, I just forget about it.

Flash forward to last weekend, where I was going through all my image files looking for work to print. And what do I come across? The abandoned ode to the 13th. I took some time today to go back over it, and re-color it. And I've got to say...I don't think I will ever come much closer to showing my love for Jason and the gang...and really, when you look at it.....it has nothing really to do with Friday The 13th. Only in my heart of hearts do I know the true emotional force bursting through this rather thinly-veiled ass shot:

Speaking of obsessions with movies; I highly recommend The Return of The Ghostbusters for a truly impressive fan-film. They made an earlier movie called "Freddy vs. The Ghostbusters" which is almost hard to watch...but TROTG is a huge leap forward. And it also proves as I have believed for years; that carrying an ecto-pack on your back through the streets of any city, still looks cool even in the 21st century.

Robin and I will be going to see Romero's Diary Of The Dead tonight. I am rather excited, but also hesitant...It is kind of hard to forget the true piece of shit that Land Of The Dead was. ( and yes John Leguizamo, I blame you!)

NEWS FLASH! : Found this article on Steve Rolston's Livejournal. Now, I assume your average housewife would look at the news of three human feet washing up on the shores of Vancouver islands, as mere coincidence. But I would like to point out that Max Brook's would probably disagree....this is pretty clearly an indication of a Class 1 infestation of the Undead. Watch out Canada! You're in for it!