The Open Window Lets The Rain In

so, over the last two days i have probably gotten more emails than i have gotten in the last 6 months combined. i am still in process of responding to all of them, and am about 90% through the pile. a lot of the emails are for commissions that i am really excited about.

so my plan now? finish a commission a day, while still doing my client work. so far (as in today) it has worked fine, but i assume i am going to collapse from exhaustion, or my hand is going to be permanently deformed by the end of this.

one of the reasons i have requested that most of the commissions be in black and white, is my desire to brush up on my inking skills. i feel that over the last few years my ability to use a brush has declined greatly, and i am hoping that practicing every day with these commissions will help me out a lot. a handful of these commissions (both tattoo and wall art) are simply "draw whatever you want", which while at first seems incredibly daunting, have ended up being a lot of fun.

this was done for the amazingly talented and beautiful Jenna Sunde, who commissioned me for a wall piece.

this while not really a commission, was done for an old friend in celebration of his son's birth.

so a question that has come up a lot over the years, is why am i so picky about doing tattoo designs? it's not really a matter of being picky i guess. i think a lot of people assume that i am just generally against tattoos, which is pretty funny considering the fact that i myself am rather heavily tattooed. tattoo art is a huge inspiration to me, and i have the utmost respect for tattoo artists (and half the time wish i was one myself).

quite honestly the real reason i usually decline offers, is i don't really think my work is up to par with something you would want on your body for the rest of your life. there are a lot of things to regret, and i can only hope that my work is not one of those things for people....hell, i have the name of a watercolor brush tattooed on my hands for the rest of my life, i know a thing or two about tattoo regret. an ex-girlfriend of mine once said that you can never regret a tattoo, because they can only remind you of who you once were. now i would like to point out that this ex of mine is completely covered in tattoos of my work, and i would bet my right leg that she is regretting it now. i am a firm believer in being able to be ashamed of who you once where.

but in reality, i love doing tattoo work. there is something so simplistic and beautiful about it all...i just have to ignore the fact that people actually get them done. i also have come to the realization that my line work is ridiculously hard to replicate with a tattoo machine. i know of a few people who can do it well, all of which i can count on one hand (though, obviously there are probably a lot more).

i hope this kind of explains my trepidation about tattoo designs in the past. but, thats the past. i have done a handful of designs over the last year or so that i am extremely proud that people actually have gotten. my dear friend rachel (co-gallerista of The Lloyd Dobler Gallery) asked me to design a tattoo of a water tower for her....and after a lot of complaining, i did this:

she got it done later by esther garcia here in chicago. esther is an absolute genius when it comes to tattoos, and i am truly jealous of her skills and line work. here is a photo of rachel's piece half done, the fills were finished a few months later and look absolutely stunning:

an old friend of mine and extremely talented artist and tattoo artist becca fiduccia, contacted me a few months ago about doing a half-sleeve design for her. becca asked me to design it completely un-directed, which made me extremely nervous. she got the design done by omar at skin abrasions in oak park, and honestly it is probably my favorite rendition of my work i have ever seen as a tattoo. unfortunately i do not have a photo of her finished tattoo, but the design is one of my most successful ink pieces i have done in the last few years:

becca offered to repay me in hours under the needle. normally i would have been super excited about this, but i basically had 3 days to come up with something i would want on my body for the rest of my life. and after thinking about it for years, i decided to get a design of my own work. now let me tell you, this was by no means an easy decision. i am still a little uneasy about the whole situation. but man, you've gotta love chipping sparrows beating the hell out of each other:

nearly 9 hours straight and still not finished. and now i have to wait for becca to come back to town to get the fills. my apologies for terrible mirror photo, bad tan lines, and gross neck beard (i can't exactly stand up long enough to shave these days)

this may possibly be the longest and most uninteresting post i have ever written.

so with this huge load of commissions (not to mention actual client work) to finish, i plan to post most of it on here and let people know what i am up to. it's good initiative to actually start posting on this blog again. tomorrow i have two tattoo designs to start and hopefully finish one, as well as take tons of reference photos for the secret secret never ending project.

10 days in from visit to ER, and the first round of antibiotics complete.

oh, and apparently the combination of heavy doses of ibuprofen, vicodin, and muscle relaxers disable you from using a shift key appropriately.

With The Green Green Grass, Growin' Over My Feet

Fortunately due to my injury, I have had a lot of free time and therefore a lot of time to catch up on late projects. I was contacted by Type Records a few months ago about putting together the packaging for Helios' new album Caesura. I had worked with Helios before on his last album Eingya, and had gotten amazing response for the record cover. Though, looking back on it I was never particularly happy with the cover. I felt that it was severely lacking something, but what I could never figure out.

I was sent a demo copy of the new album and went to work coming up with ideas. I wrote out a ridiculously long explanation of why I went the direction that I did, which involved Phillip K Dick, Jonathan Lethem, The Boards of Canada, and All Summer In A Day…but instead of boring you with all of that, I will paraphrase it. The idea I wanted to push was the struggle between the interior and exterior, with the idea of isolation and memory woven throughout. Not exactly an easy thing to illustrate. After several rounds of sketches I finished some rough line work that everyone seemed to be happy with. And yes, I still hate doing perspective:

Unfortunately due to time restraints I was only able to finish the outside cover (though the inside cover will be finished shortly)

I have had some trouble for a while trying to figure out how to color in photoshop to create a depth of field, and I think I got pretty close to it on this. This is one of those times when I wish I could work photoshop entirely through telepathy…it would make my job a lot easier.

I am still waist deep in the “secret project”, with a handful of work left to go on it. Over the last month or so I did a few odd an end jobs that you guys might get a kick out of. The first for Glamour Magazine, the second for Bon Appetit, and the last for a bike race that I was unfortunately not able to compete in due to my leg.


I am healing away nicely…or well, I hope I am. I have a doctors appointment tomorrow morning to clean the wound and replace the wicks (as in, the pieces of fabric inside my leg that are sucking up all my life essence). The pain has subsided a lot, but my joints are still stiff and I am still having trouble walking (especially stairs). I cant exactly bend over, which has become incredibly annoying…my house is filthy, and all I want to do is clean it but I am incapable of doing so. Bathing has also become a bit of a problem….I have a huge claw foot tub, and getting in and out of it on one leg without getting the other wet is pretty death-defying.

I want to thank you all for your support from the last post on here. I have gotten a huge amount of response, and am just now starting to go through all the emails…so if you haven't heard back from me, don't worry…I'll get there. Some of the tattoo ideas you guys have come up with are amazing, and I have to admit I am pretty jealous of a good handful of them. I am really excited to start working on them.

And super secret; I may once again be doing a short comic for an anthology in the near future. It is not definite, and considering I swore death to comics a year ago, I am pretty tentative about the whole situation. We'll see though.

Kill Spiders, Buy Art

( Edited July 21st, 2:36 PM: I have gotten a huge amount of response about this whole situation, thanks to the guys over at BoingBoing and Drawn and many more. I have gotten so many emails of both sympathy and commissions that I have enlisted the help of my more managerial friend to come over this evening and help me go through everything. I have received a few Paypal transactions that as far as I can tell, are simply charity. This is by no means what I want to be happening. While the thought is extremely appreciated, I would really prefer that this money be given to a better cause. I am not looking for charity in anyway; I am looking for work. I am extremely uncomfortable accepting charity donations, and once things settle down a bit I am going to try and work out a way to either refund said donations or find some kind of trade through work. If you do wish to donate in some way and don't exactly want a commission from me, please take a look at the prints I have available.

I am truly humbled by the generosity that has been sent in my direction over the last few days. The response has been truly amazing, and I now have a list of commissions to work out that is a mile long. I will be getting back to everyone as quickly as I can.

Nothing I could type here would ever be able to convey the deep appreciation I am feeling. Your words and commission opportunities have lifted my spirits immensely, and I wish to send all of you my deepest most sincere thanks.

I went to a doctor's appointment this morning for a wound cleaning, and received good news. The wound is healing well, and there seem to be no complications. My cellulitis has subsided tremendously, and I am basically able to walk without too much discomfort. And to answer some questions that have been floating around; I was not bitten by a Brown Recluse…the real mystery of the whole situation is they do not know what exactly bit me, the venom of the bite was not the problem so much as the infection that spread from it. I also (thank god) have not contracted MRSA (Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus), though I can tell you there was a pretty real threat that I had. A special thanks to my bacteriologist brother, for helping sooth my fears of X-files like quarantine. )
____

On Monday of last week I was bitten by a yet unknown poisonous spider on my right knee. By Tuesday I was running a high fever and unable to walk. On Friday evening I collapsed and was rushed to the ER. After a series of x-rays and a whole lot of examination, I was informed that I had a rather large abscess and cellulitis due to the spider's bite. I was sent home early Saturday morning after having my knee surgically "drained", and in more pain than I have ever been in. After a doctor's appointment this Monday, another abscess was drained and I was informed that I would need to see a doctor weekly until the wound had healed, which could possibly take up to 8 months. Within these 8 months there will remain the very real threat of the infection spreading into the bone of my knee, as well as the possibility of blood poisoning.

As some of you may know, the world of freelance illustration certainly has its ups and downs. Unfortunately all of this came at the very end of a rather long down in my career. Not to mention the fact that all of this happened between changes with my insurance company, meaning the majority of my bills will have to be paid out of pocket. And quite frankly, I can't afford it. I was worried about bills as it was, and with the introduction of the doctor's bills I am terrified.

For a while now I have been considering taking on personal commissions, and not just company clients alone. Now it seems like a wiser decision than ever. So what does that mean? It means I am taking on basically any commission that comes my way. This can include anything from the tiniest drawing, to a larger project, and yes that even means tattoo designs. I have ignored a lot of emails in the past pertaining to such projects, and I will try and respond to some of the more recent ones in the next few days.

Any possible commission you could have for me; gifts, wedding invitations, cards, wall art, tattoos, anything. I am interested in the job. I will also definitely consider larger personal commissions, considering the work involved. I would prefer to only be working in black and white, but don't be afraid to ask about color. I haven't exactly figured out how pricing will go yet, but obviously pricing will be negotiable and varying, but for small to medium sized drawings I was thinking between $100 - $500 through paypal.

This will be the first time that I have really ever taken on personal commissions. And quite honestly, I am excited about it. Who knows if any one will even be interested? But if you can, please help me get back on my feet both literally and financially. And not only that, please give me something to keep my mind on while healing up.

If you are interested at all, you can email me here or get a hold of me through myspace or facebook. Like I said earlier on, I am going to try and contact people that have emailed me recently about such work, but if you do not hear from me feel free to email me as well.

Also, I still have a handful of prints available here (and many more will be added soon). I receive a pretty decent cut off of the prints of mine that sell. And like I said, anything will help.

Even if you cannot contribute, thank you so much for your support over the years. Your support has made my art and career what it is today, and I couldn't be more appreciative.

Also, thanks to David over at Cool Surface, I thought of something else. I know a lot of you fellow artists out there are in similar financial situations as myself. But if you have a blog or anything of the sort and could send anyone or any work this way, it would be greatly appreciated.

PS: pictures of incredibly gross knee-holes will be released upon request through email with finished commissions.

At Night I Lay At Home With My Sheets Soaking Wet

Okay, I will be the first to admit it: I am a jerk. I haven't posted in this thing for nearly a month at this point, but at least it's for good reason....I just haven't really had anything to post. Nothing and everything has changed all at once. Spent some time in the nega-zone known as Indiana, spent hours and hours drawing wallpaper for the still secret project, fell in love a million times, had terrible allergies, rearranged my studio, had the past break my heart, realized that I have had the shit kicked out of me for so long that even the death of a family member barely affects me, carried a ziploc full of moss across state lines, was blown away by The Mist, seriously inflamed my arthritis with rock band, etcetera, etcetera.

Here is a pretty simple job I did for ESPN Magazine a few weeks ago, that came out really nice. It was the first time in a long time that I felt like I actually accomplished something through my inks:


Once again it is time for an Art-Dept promotion book. This season the theme was Reel, which meant that each artist was to pick a movie to create a movie poster for. I spent a lot of time thinking about what movie I would want to make a poster for, from The Sixth Sense, To Pee Wee's Big Adventure, 12 Monkeys, and Children of Men. I ended up on In The Mood For Love, which I have based worked off of before, but never so bluntly. It is in every aspect my favorite movie I have ever seen, and I would even go so far to say that 90% of the work I do anymore is somehow directly inspired by the movie.

I have been becoming increasingly disinterested in my colors anymore. It seems like I have been using the same crutches for a couple of years now, and quite frankly it just isn't fun anymore. I figured this project would be a good time to experiment with some different palettes and different techniques, and I think they came off pretty well. I broke the image up into two pieces to put on my website, the actual "poster" is both of these images stacked on top of each other:

I think I could spend the rest of my life only listening to Bruce Springsteen covers.

My Obsession With Victorian Ornamentation

I am currently in the midsts of a very exciting project. Unfortunately, I don't know how freely I am able to talk about the project...but hell, when am I ever? The project will be taking me a good chunk of the summer, which is a definite plus considering my quickly growing stress about the "slow season". And to be totally honest, I can't think of more of a dream job for me. Basically I get to spend all day drawing ridiculously detailed furniture, clothing, wallpaper, hairstyles, etc....it's like I was meant for the job. Not to mention the fact that I get to draw silly mustaches! Here are some rough line work drawings of what I am working on. Chances are, I don't have to be putting as much detail into everything that I am...but I can't really hold back at this point:


The show on Friday was....well, it was good. But odd, and confusing, and depressing, and amazing, and terrifying. I met a lot of nice people, and a few REALLY nice people (one in particular). A lot of nice things were said about my work, and I ended up getting entirely too intoxicated for my own good by the end of it. Though, none of this has changed my ideas about having work in galleries....it still seems like a whole lot of bullshit and competitiveness, neither of which I am too fond of when it comes to just doing my work.

Tonight a few of us are going to see John Twells play. Normally I would be all for this...but considering that it's at a douche bag bar, on fucking St. Patrick's day....I can't really say I am looking forward to it. Lord have mercy on us.

Sometimes I wonder when I write things like "Lord have mercy on us", do people on here actually take me seriously? It was brought to my attention a long time ago, that people take a lot of ridiculous things I say on here seriously.

It looks like in the near future I will be having a steady stream of work to post on this blog. Imagine that.

Into The Mouth Of The Wolf

For those of you in Chicago, I found what time the reception for the "Into The Mouth Of The Wolf" show that I am in at Lloyd Dobler Gallery starts. And for those of you too lazy to scroll down a bit here is all the information again:

Lloyd Dobler Gallery
1545 W. Division 2nd Floor
Chicago, IL 60622
312.961.8706

"Into The Mouth Of The Wolf"
March 14th - April 26th

Opening Reception
March 14th, 6pm - 10pm

Here are some inks I just finished for a spot illustration for Nextbook, on an piece written by Joe Hill (son of Steven King). I have developed a love / hate relationship with drawing typewriters, though I am a little obsessed with how the back of old typewriters look like awesome robot heads. Also, apparently I have lost the ability to draw birds well.


After a good deal of email correspondence with the amazingly talented and beautiful Audrey Kawaski, I have decided to try my hand at oil painting again. There is just so much stuff I want to do that I know I can't accomplish through inks and photoshop, and just quite frankly don't have the skill to do in water color. And on a side note, Audrey kind of makes me want to be strangled in my sleep.

I have four deadlines due on Monday, and then a small handful more scattered throughout the rest of the week. Not to mention that I have to prepare my piece for the show at Lloyd, and somehow figure out how to use a jigsaw in my apartment without cutting my furniture in half. Somebody slap me if I complain about not having enough work any time soon.

The Widow of The Man Who Never Loved You

So, after nearly two months I finally finished the big secret project. And in all honesty, I really couldn't be more pleased with it. It is so rare when the image I have initially in my head actually looks like the final product. I have been staring at this thing for weeks, occasionally adding minuscule touches here and there, but I would say I have probably put almost 100 hours into finishing this. There were even a few points where I would wake up in the middle of the night to work on it ( I was convinced it was haunting me for a while ). How in god's name did this take 100 hours you ask? Well, because it is on a 4' X 4' hunk of wood. It is fucking huge. Not the biggest thing I have done, but certainly the most detailed and time consuming. I was getting so tired of laying half of my drawing abilities to the side to do client work, that when the opportunity came for me to work on this, I put everything I had into it. Coffee washes, tea washes, graphite, colored pencil, and brush and ink. Make sure you click on the images to get a full-sized, because this thing is ridiculously detailed. I have a habit of not slacking on the detail, no matter how big the piece is. And yeah, I used the exact same sized brush for this that I used on everything else.

I was asked to do a piece by the ole' Lloyd Dobler Gallery gang for an upcoming show entitled "Into The Mouth of The Wolf", which is a collective of horror art. Now, when someone asks me to do a piece for a horror show...I hesitate. People are talking all the time about how I make horrific and macabre work, but in reality I never agree. I like to make work that is uncomfortable to look at, but not exactly "scary". So I decided to go a different route with this, and actually make something that I thought was scary....and hell, it worked. I have been having problems looking at this straight on since I started it. This is also the only piece I have ever done exclusively for a gallery show, and chances are it will probably be my last.

Into The Mouth of The Wolf is next Friday, March 14th at the Lloyd Dobler Gallery:

1545 W. Division 2nd Floor
Chicago, IL 60622

and features the work of some fantastic artists including some of my old friends; Helena Kvarnstrom, Brendan Larsen, and John Twells (aka Xela). Three of the only artists out there who's work actually scares the hell out of me sometimes. If you are in Chicago you should absolutely stop by, chances are you will find me somewhat intoxicated on Schlitz and doing my best not to make eye contact with my own work ( let alone anyone that happens to show up ). Oh and if you cant make it during the reception, the work will be up for at least a few weeks...though I am not positive how long.

Also, I am considering selling this piece when the show is over. I don't exactly know who would want a 4' square hunk of wood with a melting woman on it, but if you are interested (and seriously so) please feel free to contact me.